Where Did The Time Go ?

Do you ever ask yourself this simple question? Where did the time go? All of us have heard this before and have asked ourselves that very same question. Some of us our lives are so busy that we are constantly running from one place to another without absorbing our previous stop.  Late night talking with your dearest friend. To the next thing you notice it is 1 o'clock in the morning. Then of course seeing loved ones only on special occasions. My how you have changed. You are all grown up. The elderly are starting to get those wonderful character making wrinkles and their hair is now turning grey, We ask our self where did the time go? Most of us feel if we could only get a couple more hours in our day we could finish what we have started. I tell you the only thing that is true about time is that you do not get it back. So you see in conclusion to this we all agree that time passes way too quickly. So be sure to make every minute of your day count.

But what about the people whose have suffered a significant loss in their life. So that thought process is just the opposite. Time tends to stand still. The morning turns to afternoon and the afternoon to night. Only to feel that time is standing still. For those of you that are experiencing this be kind to yourself. You are experiencing a loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship or any type of loss. You start to feel the shift that  your life as you knew it will never be the same. Change another contant that is guarrenteed in our lives. Take the time you need to mend and learn to carry these in your heart. For this is something that you must go through to get to the next chapter. 

So now we have established how time effects each of our lives. I challenge you to take the 168 hour challenge. There are 168 hours in a week. Start by subtracting your work,sleep,driving and anything else that takes time out of your day. I think you will be suprised to see that you might find a few extra hours in your week. I know that I was for sure. Not big on goodbyes I prefer until next time!

Always moving forward,

Polly

BAGS PACKED ?

I dedicate this blog to a very dear friend of mine.

We are all frequent flyers when it comes to bouncing around the past, present and future. We do it continuously. Call it lessons learned (past) call it a to-do list (present). Call it goal setting (future).

The challenge is spending our time in the place it will do the most good.  This can be done by prompting action in "THE NOW" .

Master Time Travel: Time travel is something we do frequently and with great ease. How often have we told ourselves to try and visualize the future?

Even when someone is living in the present- living in the now- we still may not be achieving our desired results. Could this be because of excess baggage we drag with us from our past?

We might do well to adapt the guidelines and restrictions placed upon our luggage when we fly (in real time) out of town. The best advice seems to be, the less we bring with us the faster we will pass through the check points and reach our desired destination.

One Bag Only Please.... the future we dream about is like the narrow security checkpoints in the airport terminal. We can pass through them quickly and easily provided we are not carrying anything that will hurt ourselves or others. The bags we carry-on must be limited to one and must be small enough to pass through the "Time Machine"

If we are lugging an enormous trunk full of yesterday's baggage, we are simply not going to fit through the gap. Even if we check this extra luggage, it will only cost additional time and effort at Baggage Claim. Do we really need to bring all this stuff with us?

In reality, we can either jettison our baggage from the past or go nowhere fast. Happy time traveling!

Thank you CTA

Always move forward,

Polly

Always Remember to Laugh

This blog is dedicated to those of us who get caught up in the stress and grief of the world and sometimes forget to laugh. It truly is the best medicine. It doesn't mean to walk around like a Cheshire Cat, Clown at the circus (which can be scary by the way) or goofy. A great laugh can go a long way these days. Some days it may seem impossible to find that one thing that can set it off. Everyone has a different sense of humor. To me that makes it even more fun.

I personally am a fan of the ole slip on the banana peel on the floor (of course if you are ok) another favorite is when you have quick wit with a special friend that knows you so well that they get it right away. Yes the wonderful laugh that makes you cry, slap your leg or run in place. Those are the best.

When you feel your life is upside down and you are totally lost it is hard to find something to laugh about. But I encourage you to open up your heart just a little bit wider and let some of the sadness go and make room for a laugh.

After losing my son Ben I never thought that it would be possible to ever feel like I would laugh again or even want to. But I know that he loved a good laugh and would love to hear one from all the people whose heart he touched and continues to touch every day.

Keep moving forward,

Polly

Take Your Life Back

This blog is dedicated to all my friends that let fear drive their car instead of taking chances and living. It is time to take your life back. Its time to take your life back from anything that feeds your life negativity within it. Take your life back from the things that do not make you grow or move forward. Take your life back from what broke you. Those cracks are your bones from your past . These are there to move forward from the lessons of life. Do not become a flat line and live in the world of familiarity. Each of us has a past and some fracture our heart, your mind and soul.

Use your heart as a compass . Let it be your guide as  curiosity rather than fear.  Stop silencing your guideline. Listen to it. If you ignore it then you will continue to live small in a big world that is begging you to play big.

Don't cheat the world of your unique contribution that you were put here to give back because you will stay unsatisfied. You stay stagnant.  It is ok to be scared from time to time. But do not let it define you.  Take your life back. You will mend from the scars of your past. Wake up each morning and take control of your life and live true to your heart and what makes you happy. You will be amazed at the energy that will go thru your body as you fill yourself up with love for yourself and others. You only have one life.

Always Move Forward,

Polly

Grief and Low Self Esteem

I see many people going through life with low self-esteem or the same emotional roller coaster patterns over and over.

If you live in fear of what other people think, of them rejecting you, or you possibly rejecting them by not meeting all of their needs – You will never be happy. It is you who will suffer.

You because you are not being who you are. You because you are not leading from your core. You because you are trying to be everything to everyone instead of everything to yourself.

Ultimately the only person who will never leave you and who you will always have to answer to is yourself. No one else in your life is forever. No matter what you want to believe.

DO what makes you happy. SPEAK what is your message. LIVE what is your truth. LOVE because it is who you are. And attract those people who are meant to be there.

Surround yourself with people in your life that love you for being YOU.

You Just Miss Them............

I dedicate this post to my friends at " Wake Compassionate Friends"

When your life as you know it comes rushing in like a gentle breeze from time to time its ok to grieve. Its time to clean out the room and the closets and go thru pictures that make your heart miss a beat. Everyone is different and should move at their own pace when making that decision to take on that. Once again this is your own pace.

Several people choose to do this on their own and some never can bring their selves to do it. Once again what ever your choice is the right one for you. It is just another chapter in the grieving process. Some people decide to do it alone , others invite friends. It is a very hard thing to do to walk in your child's room that you know he/she will never sleep another night in it. To smell every shirt that they wore and go thru their favorite things as the memories rush back to you.

Take your time and cry if you feel as your heart breaks for your loss. My other two sons Mitchell , Greg and I have talked about it as a plan to wait until the weather gets cooler and spend a weekend together and make a few days of it just the three of us. We will all  share stories, cry if necessary but more importantly to support and pick each other up when necessary. I am so blessed and realize it everyday of my life that my 3 boys are truly the love of my life and I am a very lucky mother with so much love for each of them and them for each other.. To others my heart goes out to you when you decide to do this for your lost one. Try and remember all the good times and how lucky we were to have had the opportunity to be their mom, dad or brother and sister to them for as long as we did.

May your hearts remain strong and always move forward,

Polly

Finding Your Strength In The Face Of Tragedy

I dedicate this blog to dear friends who never give up. We all have the pieces inside of us to build the strength we need. It is just when we are broken it is hard to know where to start.

 Bad things will eventually  happen to everyone.”   There is really not  much you can do to prevent trouble, some of it is simply the unfolding of life.  The hard part and the challenge, is to accept life's heartache as part of the journey, to learn from them and come out stronger and wiser, rather than  create  a lot of chaos and drama that will eventually lead you down a path of misery.

We  all deal with  our tough times in several ways. One approach is to crouch down  and complain and use your bad times to keep your comparisons alive to the experiences of others: “You think that’s bad, wait till you hear what happened to me!” But no one can possibly judge another’s hard time or determine whose is worse. Your tough time is tough and it is yours you own it.. Then there are those who take this concept of ownership too far, by winding their hardship in a ball of secrecy — such as the man who got laid off his job but tells  no one, pretending to many in his life that it simply didn’t happen.  Or the person who suffers silently to herself as a close family member spirals downward from substance abuse. Attempting to hide a hard time shows you don’t understand the most basic thing about it — everyone gets kicked by life sooner or later. Only when we can start  accepting what has happened to us, then the journey will start our healing process and the rewards are bountiful .  What happens in much the way we accept growing up  This is  as a part of life filled with challenges and all sorts of feelings, including humiliation. We all experienced it and we all understand.

Always move forward,

Polly

When Your Life Is Out Of Balance

This post is dedicated to all of the hopelessly hopefuls that try to keep peace in their lives by making everyone else happy at the sacrifice of their own emotional needs.

When we live our lives for someone or something else this is when our own emotional needs will never be met. I refer to the word needs very carefully. Everyone has emotional needs not to be confused with being needy. Our emotional needs are as individual as we are people. When a person's natural emotional needs are being met healthy behavior usually follows.  Life Coaching is to help you discover your needs on your own, reach your full potential that you have inside you that has been stuck and is ready to grow.

This is much easier said then done. It requires courage, the will, the hunger for growth and change in our lives. Boundary setting and sticking to it and follow thru are a big part of change.

You may ask yourself how does this have anything to do with grieving and loss. Well you see it has everything to do with it. When you live your life for others and you only want to make everyone else happy then without even realizing it you will lose your own identity. Therefore the loss is with you. This state of mind does not allow you to reach you full potential and self purpose. With achieving your self purpose comes self esteem, security and confidence to move forward.

Many people choose to live in what is familiar and with that they feel it is their security. Afraid of change whether it be relationships, job change or anything they have always known. A persons past is no indication of their future. You are in control and have a voice in your life.

Don't  fear change. Having faith , courage and believing in yourself you will discover that personal growth equals peace.

Always Move Forward,

Polly

Give Yourself A Break ...... Take Your Time and Never Give Up!

This Blog is dedicated to those of you who feel they have failed or haven't measured up in life because they feel they have lost the art of patience and given up.

We want what we want now and become disappointed when things don't happen on our time. Truth is that we have no control when it comes to the path that our life follows.

Take a breathe and wait for what is for yours and NEVER settle. When we choose to  settle for things  we do not give ourselves the opportunity to grow.  Patience is not something that comes easy. Start by setting a goal for yourself. Then follow the process and move forward and grow.

• When establishing a new goal in life, decide whether or not you’re in it for the long haul. Be realistic and prepare yourself for possible delays in the process. Keep focusing on the goal but also be very aware of the steps you need to take (whether they are small) to reach the outcome you want.

• Accept that at times you may have to take a few steps back to find a new path. Try and enjoy the progress you are making as well as keep reaffirming the final desired outcome.

• Try as much as possible to live in and enjoy the present moment rather than worrying about what needs to happen in the future. The practice of mindfulness is a great detox for the mind, which can just be about taking a few minutes to notice what’s around you  instead of listening to endless mind chatter.
• Impatience can mean giving up if you don’t get something right the  first time. If you’re struggling with a new task or skill or decisions in relationships just  leave it and come back to it a bit later with fresh eyes. The main thing is not to let impatience take over and entice you to give up!
• Be tolerant, not just with others but with yourself. The person who suffers most from your own impatience is YOU!
• Be aware that life passes quickly, and that an investment in our future instead of an immediate result is a healthy mindset  Because the best things in life really ARE worth waiting for you!

Being Honest With Your Grieving

I dedicate this post to myself. This week has been a very eventful week for so many. All the graduations from schools and of course the June weddings. I am so happy to have been a part of so many wonderful events this past week. I saw so many friends whose children accomplished the big milestone of graduation! What an amazing time in a parent and their child's life.

All the homework, sporting events, band concerts and PTA meetings.  Finished and now on to the next chapter. Whew we made it! Then to have witnessed a life long family friend's daughter marry the man of her dreams. All the tears of joy and the next steps to adulthood. I am so happy for all of us that get to watch our children grow up and move forward in their lives to set out to seek their dreams. Nothing is better than that. For us parents its bittersweet to see our children whose fevers kept us up at night, those school projects that were sprung on us at 9:30 at night when you have no poster board in your house and the stores are closed. Just the smell of their hair when you just got them out of the bath and tucked them in at night. Those are the memories we hold onto as parents that get us through these milestones in their lives.

When the reality meter kicks in for me and I realize that I no longer will have the opportunity to watch my oldest son get married my heart breaks. Then I gather my self and wipe my tears and realize that he will always be in my heart and his love will be my guide thru all the rest of the days of my life. Our paths are not always what we want them be. But we dust our selves off keep their love in our hearts and do them the honor of loving others to pay forward.

Suffering Loss in Relationships

I dedicate this Blog to all that have  suffered this pain and found their way.

When your relationship is over with that certain someone that you saw yourself spending the rest of your life with you will grieve my friends. The reason for the breakup overtime will eventaually become less important.

There are many simialries to  grieving a loss of a relationship, marriage or fiendship to  a death of a loved one. The deeper the love the deeper the pain. This grief will take on many different stages.   Asking yourself what happened? How did we get here and why? The depression will set in and your motivation will take a dive. You will find yourself with the blaming card if things would have been done differently.

Allow yourself time to grieve, It is a natural part of life. You have to feel the hurt and pain and then let it go. You are not giving up you are simply letting the pain go.  That is the only way that you can truly move forward. You can visit this stop but you can not set up a permanent residence and live there. There is always a take away and a lesson in all of our lives experiences. Find yours and start building.

Acceptance and choices are the key to moving forward to who you truly are meant to be.  You will eventually feel your heart beat again and your breathing will flow freely.